I have to admit that whenever I log on to read everyone's blogs I sometime's get really angry. None of you are doing anything or saying anything that a rational mind would get angry at, it's just me. It is also part of the reason I was missing here for a long time.

When you get the band, at least when I did, I had read all of these fantastic stories of people's 100 pound weight loss in the first year and boy was I excited and optimistic! Fast forward a year and well, you know I'm not 100 pounds down no where near that. So that jealous monster in me comes out and for a while I just kind of stopped reading. I didn't want to hear how fantastic you were doing and see how great you looked when in fact I hadn't lost a thing.

I have finally been able to put some perspective to this for myself and rationalize it and not get upset when I don't see the same results. When of my most recent fill appointments helped with this as well. I was expressing to one of the doctors that I was really upset and frustrated and knew that other's who had the surgery at the same clinic were losing weight so what was I doing wrong?? He actually seemed a little shocked at how upset I was and was fairly quick to put me in my place. He said he wasn't surprised that I had lost so "little" so far and still had great hopes for me. He reminded me that there were a few hiccups in the beginning with an un-fill included and that it took some time to get my band at the right volume. He then also pointed out that some of these people I was comparing myself to have maybe lost 100 pounds already but that was just bringing them to my start weight. I hadn't really thought of that before then. My end goal isn't even to lose 100 pounds... at max in the end I would like to lose 90 pounds and that would be on the low end of a healthy weight for me. So really can I expect the same results? My answer: No. Would I like to have lost my 90 pounds by now? Absolutely! Will I still get there? Yes!

It's hard not to compare yourself to your peers. We all want to be "perfect" in whatever way we deem perfect to be. Today I am 30 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. I'm happier and healthier how much more perfect can it get. There will always be things I want to change about myself whether it's weight or the colour of my hair I just have to remind myself that I am perfect for today but there's room to improve myself for tomorrow.
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