Yes the deadly present from mother nature has yet again come rolling around. I've been PMSing pretty bad this month. Not sure why. For example on Friday I went out for Sushi for lunch with a friend.. ate like 2.5 - 3 rolls and was still hungry?!??! Then I ended up going out for indian food last minute with who I consider to be my closest girlfriend. I have also been super dehydrated and just cannot seem to drink enough water.
So while I was out with my girl Sherri I had this little mental issue going on with myself. I was stuck. I kept thinking "Ok now is a good time to tell her" but then she would start talking about her own weight loss stuff and I would back up and do a "maybe not." I did this all night so I think I've decided to just not tell her. She is trying to lose weight as she had her second child about 4 months ago and managed to put on about 50 pounds. She is only about 5 feet tall and would normally only weigh about 100 pounds so I understand why she is doing it but the fact that it is all she talks about now really bothers me. Once I got home I did some thinking about our relationship. It isn't what I want it to be and I don't think it ever will. I have never ever seemed to be able to have close friends. For some reason I just don't entirely "click" with people. Sherri and another friend Amber are as close as I have ever been to any friend and now I think that I would never tell them about the Lap-Band. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I am friends with them... but I am still very different from them and in a very different part of my life then them. Sherri is happily married, 5 years older than me, and has two children 4 and 4 months. Amber is... well Amber is 21 years old and partying as far as life will let her. Her greatest concern is whether or not she has a boyfriend mostly because she loves sex. I love her to death but as far as moral go that girl and I are extremely different. Me being a soon to be 24 year old virgin and her a 21 year old that cannot count on two hands how many sexual partners she has had.
I think what I really need in life now other than claiming my health back through weight loss is to make some new friends. Find a friend that I can share everything with and that I get along with really well.
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