In a little over a month I'm turning 24 years old. I always thought that 22 would be my year but things out of my control such as my Mother's struggle with Breast Cancer prevented that. I decided that 23 would be my 22 instead. I was going to accomplish things I'd always wanted to do and become my best self. In January of 2008 I made my first real trip on my own to Cuba to attend a friends wedding. I had a great time... if I ignored the fact that I was extremely ashamed of the way I looked and the weight I had let myself get to.
In the past I've tried several different diet/weight loss programs. I successfully lost weight with the South Beach diet but puck it all back on plus more. I've done Weight Watchers but without any real success. I thought it was time to start something new. In Cuba I watched my friend walk down the aisle 50 pounds lighter and happier thanks to U Weight Loss. It was expensive but can you put a price on your health and happiness so upon my return home I signed up. It was fantastic at first maybe because with any new program you are extremely motivated. I lost 28 pounds, almost halfway to my goal at that time. I visited my brother for the first time in 3 years and was proud of the way I looked except I was hungry! Eventually I became disenchanted with the program and the staff. Who were these people that kept telling me exactly what to eat, how much of it, consume upwards of 15 supplements a day and to devote all of my spare time to meal preparation and exercise. I wanted to scream and tell them to leave me alone! I was suffocating under the strict food preparation and exercise and hungry all the time. I could not do it anymore. I wasn't happy. I did not have time to do the things that made me happy despite the fact that at one point I thought losing the weight alone would fix that.
At my most recent weigh in (23Dec08 at my annual check-up) I'm sitting at 206 pounds, a heavy load for my 5'3" frame. I am still down 12 pounds from my all time heaviest but in fact according to the BMI I am extremely obese, and I feel this way too. I am afraid that if I keep on this path I will be back or above my heaviest. I will encounter the same problems as my Mother in years to come: diabetes, still obese, multiple joint replacements due to stress on joints from weight, and potentially having survived (or not) cancer. I CAN NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!
Enter the Lap Band system. I had been reading about it for months now and finally got over myself and talk to my Mom about it. I suppose I was expecting an adverse reaction mostly because I myself kind of thought it would be the easy way out... but is it? I'd already spent thousands of dollars trying to fix this problem without any results. I'm young and not living my life to it's greatest potential because of this so how is this the easy way out? It's not! It will still be a struggle to overcome my eating habits and self image issues but I will have the help of the lap band to get me there.
With my parents encouragement and support I've booked a consultation. It is scheduled for the 20-Jan. I truly believe that I am a good condidate for this and hope that the surgical team agrees. I can't wait to have the appointment, get all of the information and hopefully book a surgery date so that maybe I can make 24 and the rest of my life what I really want them to be.
If anyone is even reading this feel free to leave comments! And there will be more to come soon as I approach the consultation date and hopefully the surgery. I would really like to commit to this blog as a way of dealing with/vocalizing my feelings surrounding this. I've never been fantastic at communicating but have always kept a journal and a blog seemed like the natural thing to do.
Lots of Love - Les