Ok, so yes I do realize that my posts despite my best efforts always turn into novel like never ending stories/ramblings. I really need to focus and pick a topic about something I want to get out, put out for discussion and leave the rest for another time.

For today I just want to put out there how great it is for me to read all the blogs of all of these strong women. I kind of look to all of you as role-models and a support system. I don't have any real "close" girlfriends. I've got plenty of friends but no one that I really feel that I can go to and ask/say/do anything without being judged. So in the future I feel like I'm going to be exposing myself a bit and seeking some advice. With everything that has been changing in the last year including my self perception a whole other world is opening up and one I've never been part of before. I'm not sure how much of myself I feel like revealing on the internet today so we're just going to leave it at that. There's new stuff going on and I will need advice, and lots of it.

There's just something I can't talk to my friends about and I'm definitely not going to my mother or my sister-in-law. I just don't feel comfortable nor do I know if they will entirely understand how I'm feeling. I love both of them dearly and they have both been strong role-models for me all my life but things have changed. My Mom was never... feminine I'll say. I can't remember her ever wearing make-up unless you count tinted lip balm. So at a certain point growing up things changed and I didn't go to her anymore, I was ten years old when my eldest brother got married so naturally my sister-in-law came around at a perfect time. She had always been the one to ask about make-up, hair and boys. As comfortable as I was around her and still am they have lived in another province for nearly 6 or 7 years now and while she is still my sister that bond isn't quite the same. My parents are moving to another province this summer as well and I'm a little worried how I will make out on my own completely. I suppose I just have to wait and see and there's no point dwelling in the what if's and might be's right? Ok, I'm off to bed to immerse myself in my latest novel (and not written by myself).