I don't know if anyone warned me that when I started to think about dating that it would be so confusing. I thought that people would just be honest and clear with each other what their intentions were and skip the bullshit but apparently not.
I had dished to the maintenance guy, gotten over my childish crush and all honesty wasn't even hurt by the fact that he didn't even really seem to want to be friends. Fast forward to September long weekend. While at the lake I don't get cell phone reception so driving back when I turn on my cell imagine my surprise to have received a text from him saturday afternoon asking what I was doing that night. First off I didn't know who the text was from cause even though he had given all us girls in the lab his number so we could text him and what not, I ignored it and when on as if I didn't have it. So once I figured out who it was said sorry I was out of town and left it at that.
Now that brings us to this weekend. A bunch of us were going out Friday night so instead of not including him out of spite like the last time cause we "weren't sure if there were going to be enough people for it to be considered a group" we invited him and at least gave him a chance to say no. Well he already had plans so did say no, but then asked me to a movie.
I love movies why the hell not go. Uhmmm I kind of assumed that a few people were going to be there given the previous statements made. Not so much, just the two of us. He paid (good start) but that's as far as it went. He didn't make any moves and that's totally fine I guess I just don't understand what his deal is.
I've been sitting at 168-170 pounds for a few weeks now. I keep forgetting to make a fill appt and I really need one! I was going to take a bootcamp at work but it filled up before I got to register. Totally sucks but I'm going to try and find something else to get me active. Although I can't afford anything right now.
Money's tight. I literally have $40 in my account and $1 available credit on my visa right now. Get paid this friday thank god but it's pretty much all accounted for. I went crazy buying clothes and wasn't being very responsible and now it's catching up to me.
So this payday time to get back to my cash budget, weekly allowances and such. Especially with Christmas quickly approaching, yikes! Gonna need some extra cash soon to pay my deductable to get my roof/ceiling fixed. Oh man I hate being a grown up! :(

Since my last post, lord knows how long ago that was I haven't been doing as fantastic as I could have hoped. Or would like for that matter. My un-fill life saving able to get fluids down day was great, for a day! I have yet to get any restriction back and I think I'm now back up to about 5 or 5.5 mL in the band. I've been back in twice since the un-fill and got 2 mL each time. So yeah 5.5 would make more sense. I'm eating as though I have no little plastic ring inside of me with a little saline inner tube. It is mortifying!!!!!!! At first the scale stayed steady. And then it just gradually kept on creeping. Well hell when you can eat whatever you want and however much of it you want that's whats gonna happen. We all know that, and that's why we're in this situation. I have an appointment tomorrow morning and I am envisioning myself on my knees begging for just 1 mL more. Usually at this point they seem to like and increase by only about 0.25-0.5 mL at a time. So what is that nasty mean scale saying anyways? It's tell me that I'm weighing a very regressed 174 pounds. Not too bad in the grand scheme but I was at 164 thank you very much! If you might recall a while back I had a 170 goal to get my hair done and I had far surpassed that. I'm completely bummed out by this to say the least.
In other news, which I'm still rather upset about, I had to put my cat Lekili down about two weeks ago :( She as only ten and for those of you who have or had cats this is fairly young. I had started to notice that she was losing weight and as strange as it sounds was being exceptionally "friendly" for her. I had a vet come to the house, we did some blood work and unfortunately it turned out that she was in kidney failure. I then made an appointment with our regular vet to go over the results and learn how to give her some fluids. I kept up the fluids for just over a week but it was not helping and she was actually deteriorating very fast. It had gotten to the point where she wouldn't eat or drink and slept most of the time. When she did come around you could tell she was having trouble walking and would take frequent breaks trying to get to her destination. She couldn't handle stairs anymore either and started making her "own" litterbox. So sad! I still come home expecting to see her curled up on my bed and go to bed expecting her to come curl up on my hip like she always did.
I went and did some shopping yesterday. Retail therapy we'll say. I was in desperate need for some new tops and jeans since everything top wise was at least two sizes too big. I ended up buying a few tops and the gap had an awesome sale on their denim, buy one get the second for 25$. So I know I probably shouldn't have but I bought the jeans in 12's since that was where I was before putting that 10 pounds back on and I'm determined that it wont last for very long. I also picked up a few cute skirts, some leggings, and a tunic style dress. I've got a family wedding to go to this weekend so hopefully I'll get some pics of me all gussied up to post.
Oh! I can't believe I almost forgot to put this. I recently (maybe two weeks ago now?) went on my very first date EVER. Crazy I know. It was with a guy I met on one of the dating sites I've thrown myself out there with. How'd it go? Uhmmm... it didn't. First off why I even agreed to go mini-golfing is kind of beyond me cause I'm terrible at it and being a bit of a perfectionist it pisses me off when I can't do something. There was just nothing there. He seemed like a nice enough guy, I don't know if he was really nervous or something it was just really hard to get any information out of him. I did feel really bad later though cause he asked if he could call me again and my response was "Sure." When really what I was thinking was, no please don't. Thankfully (or not) he e-mailed me again to see if he could call (not sure why?) but regardless it let me say no through e-mail instead of the phone. I guess it seemed easier to turn someone down that way. It's terrible! I'm new at this what do you want from me!

I know I haven't been around much lately. I wish I could say it's because I've been so busy living but it's not that. I've more or less just been really really lazy.
My parents put their house up for sale a month ago approximately and moved in with me... It still hasn't sold and I'm going a little stir crazy. It's funny how I've gotten used to living on my own so quickly and how it drives me nuts to have them around all the time! I guess that's also part of the reason I haven't posted as that I feel like I need my space and privacy to be able to post. With my Mom always hanging around and looking over my shoulder I just couldn't write anything. I love her to bits but there are things I don't need or want to share with her. On top of my parents living with me they also brought their dog and the two cats. It was manageable until last week when my brother shipped his dog out here for the season. I went from having my house to myself to it being 3 people, 3 dogs and 2 cats. I felt like putting a sign out to advertise the new petting zoo in the neighbourhood!
Some of you suggested a while back after my mini-meltdown that I get out of my comfort zone. I've been working on it! If you lived in Winnipeg and were browsing the singles websites out there you would find me on three of them now... I've been sending out e-mails and messages galore but nothing has come from any of them yet.
Part of what led to my meltdown looking at things retrospectively now was the never ending flirtation I had/have going on with a certain co-worker known in the lab as "Hot Todd the Maintenance Guy" I guess I was confused as to what was going on there since I really do like him quite a bit and get the school girl like butterflies every time I see and talk to him (or for that matter even think about him). And there has definitely been some obvious flirting going on on both of our parts. I asked a couple girlfriends at work if maybe I was imagining this since I'm not exactly experienced and they set my mind at ease in a sense that I wasn't imagining him flirting back! Then I sent one of them on a mission to find out if he was single or not. Yup definitely single. At which point I just got upset, really upset cause I realized that this flirting game that was going on was as far is it was going to go. He's not really interested or looking for anything and that would be why he wasn't making any sort of a move, that's what I think at least!
Band related. I'm weighing in a 165.5 pounds today. I've had a rough couple weeks food wise. Can't seem to keep much solid foods down and definitely have not been getting enough calories into to lose weight. I have an appointment Tuesday morning and I'm going to ask for an un-fill. I can't tolerate this anymore. Yes I want smaller portions but I also need to be able to eat! I feel like I'm just starving myself right now. I'm exhausted and cranky.
The part that confuses me is that I thought/assumed that as you lost weight you would need more fill. Less fat pushing on the band to create restriction so you would need more saline... no?? Whatever the case may be I need some saline out and to eat some food.
We're going out for lunch tomorrow at work... not sure what I'm going to have since I PB'd pretty bad yesterday and have put myself on liquids. We're going to a dim sum restaurant so maybe I'll get some consomme or something. One of the students families owns the place so I guess I can always order something not on the menu if need be.
Had the day off for Canada Day today. Happy Birthday Canada! Just watched some True Blood and made some coconut macaroons to take to work. I've been depressed and I clean and bake when I'm depressed. Yesterday I vacuumed and washed the windows so I had to move onto baking today. They smelled delish too bad I cant eat em!
Independence Day is coming up for all of my friends south of the border. This also happens to be my youngest nephew's 13th birthday. Yowza those kids are growing fast! They're both officially teenagers now. His brother will be 15 in august. They are both taller than me and it kind of freaks me out. I better get used to it though.

Well... I guess a formerly fluffy god mother. An extra big thanks to Fluffy who not only is my 30th follower she also forced me to take a step back from yesterday's a-bomb of a post and re-assess.

She asked some tough and extremely valid questions of me that we should all do periodically I think.
1) Do you love yourself?
Yes, I do love myself. I think what everyone read yesterday was me at rock bottom. I've slept it off and had a nice long bath to wash away my tear hangover. I do love me. I love that for the most part I am confident being me whether or not I am alone. There are lots of qualities in myself that I truly believe I possess that make me the person I am. In no particular order I love that I am: kind, caring, humorous (at times), blond (yes you read that right) and have green eyes (not blue!), good at cooking/baking/knitting/crocheting/painting insert any crafty method here, true to friendships, honest, spontaneous at times, helpful and the list could go on.
2) Do you think you are worthy of someone loving you?
Yes again. I KNOW that I am worthy of someone loving me. The part where I get upset and end up writing and saying everything from yesterday is how come as of yet no one has seen all of these qualities in me and loved me? I don't think I'm unapproachable there must be someone out there who has looked at me and thought that I'm attractive and that they could like me so why in 25 years has no one ever expressed this? Why why why? I'm not about to be the one doing the pursuing I think that if someone is interested in me they are going to take the first step.
I don't know! I'm confused just totally and completely confused!

On another topic and completely un-related to yesterdays drama. The scale this morning was a rather pleasant surprise. I know it's only because it was a morning weigh in and I haven't eaten much the last few days and been really busy/active but (drum roll please)...... 164.5 pounds! I'm trying to remember when I last weighed this much. Yup can't remember. So here's what I do know. When I graduated high school at 18 years old (so 7 years ago) I was a size 10/12 on the bottom and L on top. Today I'm sporting size 14 jeans belt necessary and might need to go shopping again since I bought them about 10 pounds ago and an XL on top. Now I'm not sure the XL on top will change since I've been blessed (if we can call it that) with a pretty big chest. Although that top I showed in my post last week the green one from the gap is a large and not toooo tight in the chest so with some tummy toning I might eventually be able to wear a large. I have way way way more energy. Sometimes I even catch myself in the afternoon going to look at the clock and thinking "This day will never end" because I still have energy so I expect it to be 1:30 or 2:00 only when in reality it turns out to be more like 4:00 or 4:30ish. It's a nice surprise!

Tomorrow night I'm doing my first ever Partylite show for my friend A from college. I'm excited and nervous all at once. But I've just got to remember that I love the product and if I let this show then others will too!

Hope everyone is enjoying the rest of their weekends. It's finally sunny out here thank god!!! I'm going to get sit out on my deck and get some sunshine!

I haven't been posting much lately mostly cause of the whole "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." But tonight I'm gonna tell little thumper to screw cause I need to get some stuff off my chest and talk/write it out to myself and maybe get some clarity or peace of mind.

I've just really felt kind of low for the past 3 or 4 weeks. I can't even pin point one specific moment or incident that may have fueled this but I just kind of feel craptastic. I kind of thought maybe this was turning around at the beginning of the week after I'd gotten my hair done because all the attention I was getting from having a fabulous colour and cut was making me feel beautiful and maybe even a bit wanted. But that didn't last long. It's so vain and self involved of me to think that a hair cut and do all this but I did/do not sure which yet. People I don't talk with much were complimenting me and I've been getting second looks wherever I go.

At a certain point during the week I went from thinking I look great with my new hair cut and down 40 or so pounds to thinking am I really that ugly and will I be alone forever. How someone can turn this around so quickly after such short time is beyond me but I've managed to do it for a long long time. I have never though of myself as pretty, beautiful, cute, or hot. Insert which ever word you would use to describe some one as attractive yourself. I've never even thought of myself as plain, ordinary, or average. I've always lumped myself in that group of unfortunate souls who have not been blessed with good skin, hair, bone structure genetics etc etc etc all combined into a steaming pile of fugly.

Why do I feel like this? It's not for lack of my parents ever having tried to instill that I am their beautiful daughter. Nor is it even a lack of ever having had girlfriends compliment my hair, skin, clothes and all of that shallow crap that we deem makes us attractive. It all (I believe) comes from the fact that I have never ever and I mean NEVER EVER received any sort of attention from men or any one man that has made me feel wanted and beautiful.

I have never had a boyfriend in all of my 25 years I know some will say "You're still so young! There's lots of time for that!" Cause yes I've heard it all before I know that there is lots of time but what if in that time I never do find some one. It's hard not to lose hope when you just want to be loved. I've told you all before that I'm a rare occurance as a 25 year old virgin and I'm well aware that there are other women my age who are virgin's but I'd have to guess it is usually because they want to wait. I've told people that in the past that I've shared this with it's because I want to wait. Way to "smile and nod" and hide the truth Leslee! Thing is I've never even been given the chance to lose my virginity if I wanted to. Here's where it gets worse.

Remember that movie maybe about ten years ago with Drew Barrymore called "Never Been Kissed." We all laughed, hell I laughed could you imagine a woman that age who had never been kissed pathetic huh? Turns out I became that woman. I can hear your jaws hitting the floor by the way pick em up it's not very becoming.

I'm depressed. I'm in a slump. I'm terrified. I'm managing to talk myself in circles in my head all the time, every minute of the day. Friend keep asking me what's wrong cause I seem pre-occupied. I am! I have no one to talk to! I've got friends, a couple from college, one from my childhood neighborhood and a handle from work. But no one who I've ever divulged any of this to because I don't feel close enough to anyone or comfortable to share. I'm afraid that people will laugh in my face and talk behind my back. I'm scared and alone.

I wanted to lose the weight because I thought that maybe just maybe then someone might find me beautiful enough to think about being my friend or spending their life with me. Well I'm about half way to my goal and nothing much has changed. The scared innocent girl inside of me is still there. I'm sitting in the corner watching all the cool kids have fun still. My weight has held me back from experiencing things when you are supposed to in your life. I'm ten years behind my peers as far as relationships and dating goes. I should not be terrified that if god forbid I did get asked on a date that I wouldn't go because I'd be afraid to get kissed and be found out.

It's times like these where I used to hide behind my fat and food. The fat is melting away and I don't have the only relationship I'd ever had anyone, with food. What does that leave me with: me home alone on a saturday night, crying because I'm scared to live and enjoy life because I haven't experienced so much of what it has to offer.

I'm sorry for being such a downer and a drama queen. I just needed to get this out. I'm going to go curl up on the couch and watch the Notebook and cry it all out hopefully. It doesn't help that we're on like our second week straight of constant rain and the dull and dreariness is usually enough to make me cry on its own. Most of this was probably completely incoherent since I'm a rambler and can't follow my own thoughts cause they happen too fast and in too many directions. Hopefully someone out there can understand or relate or even offer some advice to myself or even someone else they think might be feeling a little low. Instead of asking them if anything is wrong do them a favor and just go and give them a big hug cause right now if anyone else asks me if everything is all right once more I might break into tears in front of them and a hug is all I really need.

I went and got my hair done yesterday! It is such a relief to have some of those skraggly extra inches gone and so nice to no longer have roots nearly 4 inches long. So I present you with pre and post hair pictures today:

I had planned on going to Polo Park and doing some shopping after getting my hair done but that didn't exactly happen. I kinda forgot how it usually takes 2-3 hours to make my hair look like that and there was an electrician coming over at 3:00 to do some stuff. I've had to put my shopping plans on hold until next week. I could have gone today but I just wanted a lazy Sunday on the couch so that's what I've done.

After I put on all my weight I got rid of most of my clothes cause I didn't want to keep stuff I couldn't wear. It really upset me to see clothes hanging in my closet that I liked but couldn't wear because I didn't have enough will power. There were a few pieces that I did save cause I really liked them and had bought them at a time when I had lost some weight and was fitting into a size 12 and feeling good about myself. I decided to try on one of the tops (from Gap) and one of the skirts (from American Eagle) the other day just to see. I took some front and side shots with and without sucking in my gut.

Just a quick update. I'm heading out for dinner and drinks with my friend R from College, such a nice guy! I wish he weren't gay.. Anyways, we're going to Joey's since the drink special today is the Super Sonic Gin and Tonic, think a G&T slush, yummers! Not sure what I will have for dinner though. Pre-band I would have gotten the lobster and brie grilled cheese sandwich (yes way! they do make such a thing) but it's been a while and I think that would be pushing it for me.

This week has been rather uneventful in all honesty. Just work, some more work, walk the dog, try and eat, sleep rinse and repeat.

So Jess did this post earlier in the week explaining why she hadn't posted in a while and I could've sworn that I wrote it myself! I could feel the frustration and near desperation in her tone and completely related. I too at times find it very hard to post when I have nothing positive to write about. The old Thumper adage of "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" tend to come to mind for me.

So Jess if you're reading here's what I have to say about your "situation." It will happen in time. Like me you've started your journey at a much lower place (weight wise) than the standard bandster. It might take a few or four fills for things to finally start moving. That doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong you just need to get your band to work with you. If you recall I was banded March 7 of last year and really didn't start losing much to write home about until December. That's 9 months! But to put it in perspective Angie who started at the same time but had more to lose and is close to the same height has indeed lost a great deal more than more (way to go Angie) but we are sitting relatively close weight wise these days. Please keep this kind of stuff in mind and don't get discouraged! I totally relate and understand and if anything my own discouragement over the past year may have made it that much harder.

**Edit: My bad, Angie is apparently a fantasmical 5'8" or something like that. I can only wish to be that tall!**

What else can I tell you... I finally caved in and went and bought some clothes yesterday. Part of my was holding out as long as possible to avoid spending money on something that hopefully won't fit for much longer :) Having said that though I couldn't tolerate pulling up my pants every 5 seconds anymore. Nor could I handle the fashion statement I seemed to be making that looked a lot like I'd pooped my pants. Genetically I've inherited a rather flat ass so anytime pants get big I get droopy bum syndrome, not exactly fetching. I went to Old Navy cause I figured at least price wise the stuff would be alright. Guess what? I'm a 14 now!!! So I picked up two pairs of jeans, a pair of capris, a blazer and two t-shirts. The t-shirts were actually free, some sort of grand re-opening deal or something. Oh and I got free cotton candy! What a nice treat, I honestly can't remember the last time I even had cotton candy. My new jeans actually fit in the waist, bum and thighs which is very refreshing.

My Mom is moving in with me this week while their hardwood floors get refinished for re-sale, so that should be fun. I've gotten used to having my own house/space and not feeling obligated to talk to anyone. How anti-social do I sound? I also got to bring my cat(s) home last night. I'd missed having her around. The other one (my brother's cat which will move to the lake with my parents) not so much, he's kind of evil. They seem to like the place though, lots of wide sunny windowsills for them to sit on and new hiding places to discover. I'll leave you this fabulously warm Sunday with a picture of my cat, her name is Lekili. The picture doesn't show it the greatest but she's a long haired Calico, mostly white with a few dark sports and orange on the back of hear head. She walks around swishing her tail cause she's a princess and should really have a crown.

And unfortunately I'm not referring to the muscles that for now are still hidden beneath my insulation.

Awhile back when I went for a check-up/fill appointment I had a good chat with the nurse about how in the morning particularly I find that my band is much tighter and therefore I sometimes have trouble getting some substantial, keep you going for the morning type of foodies. I was sitting there all confused explaining and asking "Why oh why?" when she very kindly pointed out to me this natural phenomenon that gets blamed for all sorts of other things but might also hold the answer to my question.

Gravity. Yup. And it makes total sense once she said it! And I call myself a super science geek, pft! So here's your food for thought. As the day goes on where is your fill going to go, down! Gravity pulls it there, so naturally things tend to loosen up a bit later in the day. Now when you get to sleep you're lying down, at least I am, and now things need to shift and level out and re-equilibrate and all that nerdo stuff. So as we're sleeping a certain amount of that fill makes it way up closer to the band and then when we wake up and try and eat the whole "Why oh why?" starts all over again. Really! Once upon a time I thought I was smart but now I'm beginning to wonder if I couldn't figure that one out on my own.

I've got 29 followers now. Hello to Colleen my newest follower! Here's a bit of useless information for you, my parents had considered naming me Colleen. My Mom asked her grandmother what she thought of the name and she replied "We're not Irish." I guess in her mind you had to be Irish to be named Colleen??? Either way it must have made an impression so instead they named me Leslee. Of course with an unusual spelling so that I will be correcting people until the day I die, although I usually don't even give them a chance to try and spell it on their own. For some reason when they ask if it's "i-e" or "e-y" and I say no "it's e-e" they end up writing "Leeslie" so in one breath it comes out "Leslee, l-e-s-l-e-e."

Scales are still stuck at 175. Can't be surprised honestly cause I've not been exercising and my food has been less than ideal. Yesterday I only managed to get down two or three bites of tuna salad for lunch. Thought I would finish it for dinner, up it came after just one bite. I totally don't get it sometimes! It was mushy and moist and laden with extra mayo calories... Who knows. Is it possible that if gravity can effect the band that barometric pressure etc might do something?? Hmmm... I think I need to start working in a lab that researches environmental and external physical influences on gastric band patients. Screw this nutritional research, it didn't seem to help me pre-band!

This week has been going by remarkably fast and I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already! My Mom is heading to the US for a few days tomorrow and I've requested that she bring back for me: any different crystal light flavours, diet sunkist (we don't have it here, I'm thining it might be similar to C-plus here but there isn't a diet one), diet cherry pepsi and diet cherry vanilla dr pepper... I know I know we're not supposed to have soft drinks. But really is one a week gonna kill me? No! Have a great Thursday all!

A bad blogger that is. I finally got me tv set up and since I've gone a while trying to watch stuff on my computer it was this new addiction of sorts. I couldn't tear myself away from it! Now that I'm finished watching season 1 and 2 of Gossip Girl I should be good for a while... I hope.

A big thanks to everyone for their encouraging words about renovating a foreclosed house. Things are coming along slowly but surely and it's good to know that I'm not the only one who has encountered some "interesting" events upon getting possession of their home.

I stepped on the scale today for the first time in a few days or so and things don't seem to be going anywhere at all. I have noticed that in the last few days I've been ravenously hungry and I had originally blamed this on my TOM. I have since discovered that my body is most likely back to its old tricks of missed "dates."

I had recently opted to stop taking birth control pills for various reasons and being that I never went on them in the first place for actual birth control. I'm a "rare breed" that is a 25 year old virgin and there's no need for me to take the pill for its original intended purpose. I had started taking it when I was 14 I believe so it's been 11 years and it was mostly to help regulate my period, even back then it was wonky, and to help with my complexion. Cause when you're 14 as you know a pimple is the end of the world! My skin had seemed to balance it self out or I'd finally just figured out a skin care regime that worked for me, as for my TOM I was still skipping months after 11 years and countless attempts at finding the right kind of pill and dosage. I'd had enough so I stopped taking them after discussing this with my doctor decided it was the right choice for now.

So since I can't blame my hunger on my TOM I guess this means I need another fill huh? I've got an appointment book in a couple of weeks so we'll see how I am until then. I can always call and get them to fit me in a bit earlier if I can't wait. The thing I don't understand is that some days I'm normal, and by normal I mean good restriction, some days I'm tight and struggle to get food in and then today I'm sooo hungry! Is this just the life of a bandster or is something not right here?

I thought I'd share a picture of me one of the girls took at my fiasco girl's night in. Have a great Friday everyone!

In part 1 I covered that the previous home owner wasn't as forth coming about her financial situation as she should have been considering she was selling the house and could have really screwed me over. In the end it all worked out but not without a few more hiccups along the way.

On the day of possession my Dad and I took our time getting up and making our way over to what is now my end of town. Strangely enough I slept just fine the night before, I thought I would be a huge jumble of nerves and get no sleep at all. My Mom was out of town for a quilting retreat and unfortunately, or fortunately, wasn't able to join us. We pulled up to the house and went to go park in the parking pad near the back lane but there wasn't really any room for a car there. I wish I could say it was because we had a ton of snow this winter and it was all just piled right there but that wasn't the case. What was actually taking up the room was a few sofa's, other random furniture and garbage that the previous home owner (who I think I will start calling C-H to shorten things and I will explain about later as well) decided she had no need for anymore but couldn't be bothered to move.

The trash outside was just the start though... Once we got inside I found my place in even more of a mess than it was when I first looked at it. I didn't think that was possible! I did a quick walk around found more stuff C-H left behind and then found "the note." It went something like this:

I'm sorry that I did not leave the house and give it a proper cleaning as your deserve. But due to financial difficulties, no help and the water being turned off I was not able to. Please accept these household gifts I have left. Thanks much C-H

First off, NO WATER!!! Second, ewww I don't want your gross stuff. Third, let me call my lawyer.

Really I know you were going into foreclosure so your mortgage wasn't paid for at least a year. If your water bill comes quarterly how many times do you not have to pay for it before they turn it off? Luckily we practically live in the arctic so they legally can not turn off gas/hydro in the winter cause you would freeze to death.

My Dad and I started ripping out the carpet and my old neighbor J who runs a cleaning business was great and brought over buckets of hot water so we could at least clean off the kitchen counter and put our bags down.

The city water department didn't show up until nearly 8 pm that night to turn the water back on for me so we kind of had to hang out in the grunge for a while. When it was back on though it wasn't without it's own drama. The dishwasher started filling with water, poured out the bottom, then into the basement at a location where very conveniently the electrical box was located. YIKES! Water was turned back off, plumber called in for the next day.
Dirty house and water drama aside I had high hopes that my hardwoods could be refinished. There was a ton of carpet glue on them but other than that they seemed to be in decent shape.

It's a long one. How does everyone keep their posts and vlogs so short and sweet so as not to bore the pants off of everyone? Am I just a hopeless rambler or what?

So I didn't have a chance to post much last week, or this week for that matter. There's a few things from last week that I just wanted to get out there and talk over/think through.

For starters I had my friend A from college over for dinner Wednesday of last week. It was kind of a "I haven't seen you in a couple months, we need to catch up and I want to show you my new place kind of deal." I'm still trying to figure out what exactly went down that night, it was so strange.
The plan was that I'd give her a call when I got home since she had some errands to run blah blah blah and then she'd come over. Guess the errands took care of themselves and I got a call while I was on the bus on my way home
"I'm at your place, I'll just wait in my car for you to get home." Ok....
So when I got home I went to go open the door and even though she looked right at me and waved she didn't get out of her car. Maybe she was texting/talking with someone and I'm looking too much into this. So I went over to her car and she got and and just gave me this bizarre "Hey"
We went inside and without a word of a lie that first thing out of her mouth was
"I'm not too sure about your neighborhood, it's kind of sketch." Well, gee, thanks for your support!
I gave her the grand tour and the only thing she had to say about the whole house was
"They're kind of crooked." In regards to the stripes I so proudly pointed out that I painted myself in my office/craft space
At this point I'm just really hurt that the few words she's said to me are so criticizing and rude. We made dinner and put a movie on. The conversation really just focused on her boyfriend and her job. That's just fine don't ask me about my life, it's pretty non-eventful, I've got nothing to share. I know we've been out of touch for a year and just started to hang out again but you may or may not have noticed I've lost about 40 pounds and oh yeah kind of had a surgery to help with it!!! It wasn't until later on that I got cold and went to put on an old sweater that I got the
"OMG have you lost weight?? I was with you when you bought that it's huge on you!" Yeah, thanks for noticing b****
The whole time we "watched" the movie I tried talking with her but she was somewhere else, namely in a conversation via text, with someone else and clearly not interested in talking with me. So really why did she even come. Make up some lame excuse and cancel or bail out early it would've been better than spending the evening lonely with someone.
Some where along the way she then felt the need to share that she hated my dog. Uber b**** that's my baby you're talking about! It wasn't until right before she left she asked how I've lost so much weight. So I told her flat out. I had a surgery, so I've got a band around my stomach making my portions smaller, y'all know the deal. Her reaction? NOTHING! Well I guess not nothing:
"Oh ok, well I'll talk with you again soon." WTF??????
Right now I'm trying to figure out what to do. Cut her loose for good or try and talk it out. We were close for a while but I don't know if it was just a phase for me, trying to fit in with certain people/needing a friend. I just don't know. She's a couple years younger than me but I million away maturity wise. Maybe we were just friends out of circumstance while we were in school and that's all it was meant to be. I wish friendship came with a manual sometimes.

Drama part aside, last week was my first "partay" at my place. Call it Girls Gone Wild or just Girl's Night In. Whatever you want to call it it was a blast. It was a pot luck of sorts with munchies like olives, marinated feta, roasted garlic, veggies and loads of other yummy goodies. And.... alcohol. I made mojitoes and electric popsicles. While some may have gotten out of control I had max 4 drinks since I was feeling it after the first. Thank you tiny tummy for making me a light weight! We talked, we danced, we sang. And some of us got carried away.
Of those who did some made it to their own home before tossing their biscuits while others choose to loose it in my home. If only you could see the clearly unimpressed look on my face now, perhaps this warranted a vlog oh well! Now I should put it out there that my house is nearly 100 years old and while the plumbing works and is not capable of handling certain things.
So if you were to come over and PB into the toilet all would be well in a few flushes. The sink however, just don't tempt fate. If you haven't guessed by now said guest who I will henceforth call H did not make it to the toilet but only the sink. Instead of asking for help thought she would just rinse it down and no one would be the wiser. OMG!!! This resulted in an overflowing sink containing someone elses grossness. Once we realized that H wasn't around someone went to check on her and discovered the dilema. V knows that while I can handle my own mess and dissecting a rat don't ask me to clean up after someone else or there will be two messes to deal with so she took care of it.
The chaos and what is kind of humorous looking back now that unfolded might as well have come from a movie it was so disgusting. V up to her elbow's in H's mess trying to scoop it into the adjacent bathtub. H on the phone with her husband asking him to bring a plunger (haven't made it to that part of my shopping list yet), R and D1 having to pee so bad but afraid to use the washroom so they're peeing in my backyard. R getting caught in backyard peeing 2nd time by neighbor returning home from work at 4 am. Me waking up the next/same day at 3 in the afternoon and realizing that despite the amazing job V and H's husband did cleaning up the bathroom they didn't realize there's a 1.5 inch gap between the vanity and tub. During this whole debacle said mess spilled into this gap and waited for me until a got up only to start dry heaving and nearly starting the cleaning process all over again. Can you keep up with this??
So the expense of Girl's Night In? 1 bottles of rum, one bottle of gin, 4 bottles of wine, lots of laundry, a new shower curtain liner, tons of cleaning products and two rolls of paper towel. Oh and all the excitement not only wore me out but also the dog who slept through until 5 pm on Saturday, didn't even get up for food.

When's the next party? When H gets herself knocked up and therefore can't drink and is also past the whole ill feeling of pregnancy. Here's a question for you guys too. I felt really guilty about not helping to clean cause I was afraid of adding to the mess. What proper hostess/host etiquette here people? I gave V a Starbucks gift card but I still feel terrible. Anyways, tomorrow is Friday! Have a fantabulous day I know I will!

Wow! A ton of stuff went down in blog land while I was off in my own little land, it's hard catching back up on the stuff you've missed.

I noticed when I logged on today that I have miraculously in the past few weeks jumped from 9 followers (from when I really started blogging regularly this past month) to a whopping 27 followers! 27!!! Thanks to everyone who has decided to follow me it is really encouraging and well down right flattering to have people click that button.

I have created for myself a little reward type goal. I really really REALLY need to get my hair done. So I've decided that once I reach 170 pounds I'm going to book my appointment. I don't get my hair as often as I should, you know touching up the roots every two months or so and getting a trim, cause lets face it I can't really afford it. It is minimum $110 every time I get it cut/highlighted and I have a hard time coughing up that much money for my hair more than 3 times a year. I'm currently sitting at 175 pounds YIPEE! So in that time it takes me to loose the 5 pounds I have to figure out what to do with my hair. With the newer "symptom" of hair loss I'm experiencing I'm kind of lost on how to get it cut since my overall volume of hair has decreased so much. Maybe I'll just let my stylist figure that bit out.

Speaking of hair loss, I know that this is directly influenced by my protein intake. I've been working really hard on making sure I get my protein in but I've been reading about some alternative products/sources of protein out there and wondering if anyone has tried them. I'm really interested in the protein bullets that have 45 g of protein in a approximately 3 ounces of fluid as well as IsoPure with 40 g of protein in a 20 ounce serving. If you've tried these let me know what you think please!

I'll leave you with a picture from my Girl's Night In this past Friday. At another day I will have to do a post sharing all of the hilarity that was that night.

What's a PPB you ask? I'm sure everyone knows that a PB is a "productive burp," you throw up ok?? How about a PPB? It's a public vomititious epimasode.

**Side Note: I quite enjoy adding random syllamables to words, it just makes life more interesting so you might as well start getting used to it.**

Anyways, back to my story... Today I had my first and hopefully one of only a handful of up-chucking in public epimasodes. I didn't have time to pack a lunch this morning (kind of slept through my alarm and the back up alarm on my cell phone woops!) so I had to buy lunch. I thought I was playing it safe and picked up a bean burrito of sorts at Taco Time (the Canadian version of Taco Bell). After the fact I realized that I wasn't chewing as well as I should have been the the flour tortilla did not sit well at all. The public part is included in this since I was at work at the time. We were sitting around chatting, eating lunch, when all of a sudden. That doesn't feel so great... Oh! Sliming is starting.. Quick! Get to the bathroom. So I spent about 5 minutes standing over the porcelain shrine sliming/drooling praying it wouldn't go any further. No such luck. In one swift hiccurp lunch was gone, down the drain that is. I really don't think anyone noticed my abrupt departure from the lunch table, flushed face and watery eyes and if they did they didn't say anything. There was one comment something like "You haven't eaten much? Isn't it good?" from R. A quick "No" and a glance gave her all the info she needed and she came and gave me a big hug. I love some of the girls I work with and will be so sad when they leave!

On the plate for tomorrow and the weekend: Friday is Girl's Night In. My house wreaks of roasted garlic that I've made for it and my kitchen counter looks like I might have a slight problem with alcohol consumption. Hopefully we don't get too out of control. Other than that my weekend is going to be pretty chill. I've got to get to my parents to do laundry (I can afford the house but not a washer and dryer yet). I'd kind of like to see a movie as well, we will see.

On completely unrelated life info I've decided to become a Partylite consultant. I really like their products and I've been looking for a way to supplement my income now that I'm paying a mortgage etc. It seems like a flexible for me to be able to do this. Wish me luck! I probably won't have time to check in tomorrow before the party so I hope that everyone has a fantastic weekend!

So I haven't written in a few days since I've been rather busy. I'm having one of those "Why aren't the days longer?" type of situations right now. There never quite seems to be enough time. I'm going to try my best to update you on the last few days.

Sunday
Ok well here's the deal my co-worker was supposed to come pick up his dog that as you know I was a little less than impressed with. He actually got back into the city Saturday night be we agreed that I'd take her Saturday night still so that the family could settle back in for one night. So noon rolls around on Sunday and I still haven't heard from him, I send him a text and nothing. I phone him and nothing and I'm just sitting here thinking "What the hell! Come get your stinky dog!??!" 5:00 rolls around and a still haven't heard anything. Well I had plans to be at a friends place for 7 (which I will tell you more about) and had to leave shortly in order to get a bus there on time. So I ended up leaving at 6:15 to get the bus and I still haven't heard from him. During the middle of this dealio at my friends my cell rings and guess who it is? Really? Really! You waited this long to call? Yup. There was some story about his phone breaking or something but can I get the dog tomorrow? Fine whatev, we'll take care of it tomorrow.
So this deal I was going to a friends place for was a Partylite party. Don't know what partylite is? It's those home party type idea's and they sell candles and other house accessories. I ended up getting a few lovely items as well as some candles. The first thing I got is this pretty reed diffuser that looks like a bloom from a chrysanthemum.
 The other item I purchased was a set of candle holders. It includes one tealight holder, one votive holder, two taper holders, and two different pillar holders.

 Monday
Wasn't that just today? No it wasn't. It was rather boring in all honesty. I worked... and I came home... I think my parents were here for a bit and then I went to bed. Nothing stands out regarding life or the band so it must have been a good day.

Tuesday (Today)
I was busy at work and I needed to get certain things done and I knew I had to leave early. So what did that mean, it was "Ask stupid questions to annoy Leslee day." Sometimes I wonder how people make it so far in life, if you would just stop and think for a second I'm sure you could figure it out! So I had to leave work early because I had an appointment booked at the clinic for a fill. Now I don't need a fill but they like to see you anyways and check on your progress, it doesn't cost me anything either so I like going and checking in with the doc's and the nurse. I weighed in at 177 on their scale, which is always 2-3 pounds heavier than mine so this was no surprise to me since I'd figured theirs would most likely say 178 even though my home one has me at 176. Had a good chat with the nurse about how things were going and how things like stress can influence my band. Also had a good explanation from her about the band being tight in the morning which I will post at another time. After my appointment it was time for my dog to go see the doctor. Poor Summer somehow caught her nail on something over the weekend and cracked it in half so it was consistently clotting and then re-opening and bleeding and she was gimping around feeling sorry for herself. She might be more upset with the solution though. The broken, barely attached peice of nail was removed and she is not sporting a rather snazzy fluorescent pink bandage on that foot. I should add that the vet put the cutest purple flower on it too to "match her collar." Tee Hee! I love it!


So tomorrow is hump day. I'm having a girl friend from college over for dinner. Who I might add I haven't told about the band yet. I haven't had any hesitation about telling anyone as much as I have with her. I don't know why, maybe since we're not as close as we used to be. Hope everyone has a great remainder of the week and I will try to check in on Thursday since I'm sure there won't be time tomorrow.

So I realized that I don't really have an pictures up here of myself for everyone to compare and see how I'm progressing. I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out, but it did. Maybe I just didn't really want to look at them, ever. Part of this process so far for me has been coming to terms with the fact that yes I once was that big but I'm not anymore and I'm not going to let myself go there ever again. Looking at my pictures now if anything is serving as a reminder to me when I so desperately want that chocolate, ice cream or what have you that maybe the reason I want those things isn't so much out of hunger as it is a need to fill another void. So without further ado I present to you: